Tuesday, January 19, 2010

Selfishness in Running

Having some introspective moments here.   Usually my 12 yr old sleeps thru the whole Sunday long run thing. This Sunday she asks me  to "make it a shorter run so we can have some quality time ". GUILT TRIP! ...killing me!  Even though I have spent tons of 'quality time' with her watching stupid teen movies with her, baking , talking, shopping, etc. and I know she won't get out of bed till 11am ! (when we get back)

Then there is HAITI- omg, these people are in bare bones survival mode. People starving, suffering and  dying.  Here I am counting calories, trying to make 'healthy food choices"  etc, etc, . Not to mention recording and logging my miles/altitude, intensity etc.. It seems so self centered  in comparison to this world around us!!  I feel so selfish!

But at the same time, I have massive amounts of gratitude for what I have in my life.  I am soooo lucky to be able to make these choices. WHAT should I eat, how FAR should I run, WHEN will I spend QUALITY time with my daughter.  I don't think the people of Haiti  wonder about 'quality time'.  The other night I was bored.  Well, BOREDOM IS A LUXURY!!!   Many people in this world would love to be bored- not starving, not scavanging, not diving bombs, but bored.

In the end I have come to the conclusion that although my running IS selfish. It is something I do for ME. I LOVE it.  There isn't much else I do only for myself.  I work to help heal other people, I volunteer for others, and the rest of my spare time is spent supporting my family (driving, homework, cleaning,cooking,banking,  laundry) .  Running is a GOOD thing.  It keeps me FIT to help others, it keeps me SANE to be there for others and the events I go into are often fundraisers for those in need!

  Maybe it isn't as selfish as I think it is....



EricG said...

I believe everyone should have something they can call their own and if that something makes you happy isn't everyone around you happier too? And if so is it selfish:) Have a great day.


Absolutely right Eric. Its the good old addage "if momma aint happy, nobody's happy".